Two Men And A Baby
by meganface
Summary: It's just Mickey's luck that the one day both he and Ian have off work is also the day they're left to babysit Lily.


**so this is the first installment of the one-shots I'm doing in the A Move Too Far 'verse. you don't necessarily have to have read that to get it, but it would probably help slightly.**

* * *

Babysitting duty doesn't often fall to Mickey. Usually either Dylan or Zoe's parents will jump at the opportunity to look after Lily and Mickey isn't about to offer when that's the case.

He's bonded with her, though. Lily is still so little and breakable that Mickey often worries about holding her but he does. A few times he's fallen asleep with her curled up in his arms, tucked in against his chest. And every time Mandy manages to catch him in the act and has actually started a photo album on fucking Facebook that's made up of pictures of the two of them snoozing. It consists of five pictures so far.

And, despite the fact that she's only three months old, Mickey's begun trying to teach her things. Like, for instance, that her uncle Ian is a giant douche. Shit like that.

So he is more than okay about spending time with the little brat. Really, he is.

Just not today.

Because Ian has been working ridiculous hours at the gym and he's been spending a lot of time in meetings and shit because some fat bitch is trying to sue them because the exercise bike she was using broke when she sat on it. Mickey laughed until he cried when Ian told him that, and Ian punched him in the gut. Fuck, anyway, the point is that between Ian's hours working during the daytime and Mickey working nights, they haven't actually seen much of each other in the last two weeks. And that's more shitty than Mickey'd care to admit.

But Ian doesn't have work today and nor does he so he was hoping to have a lot of sex.

Which is a thing you can't do when babysitting a three-month old.

"Yes, Mickey, I know that," Zoe snaps, as she continues to take items of clothing out of her and Dylan's new wardrobe and throwing them onto the bed. Where Mickey is lounging. So really she's just throwing them on him. Bitch. "But, as you know, Dylan's parents, his whole family actually, barely even tolerate me and so if they decide to invite us over for an impromptu party/barbecue, I can't turn them down!"

"I know that, it's just - can you fucking stop throwin' shit on me - I haven't-"

"Haven't got laid in, like, five days, man," Zoe says in a really good impression of him. He'd comment on that if he were a little less pissed.

Kicking away a tiny black dress, Mickey sits up. "What about your mom?" he suggests. "Zara? Mandy?"

Zoe spins around and puts her hands on her hips. Her bra has a hand printed on each cup and it makes him snicker whenever he sees it. "My mom and Zara have also been invited," she explains, and finally her stress makes sense because Andrea is sort of a new-age hippy, completely liberal. Dylan's family are maybe the most conservative people Mickey's met. "And Mandy is at Marcus', so you're the only person I can ask." She quickly holds up a silencing hand. "Do not say any of my friends' names, okay? I don't trust them enough with my baby and Natt is on vacation."

Mickey can't even argue with any of that and there's no point telling her he'll do it because she already knows he will. Parenthood hasn't changed Zoe much.

...

Zoe finally finds something respectable to wear by twelve and she and Dylan leave shortly after. Not before she tells him that he and Ian can just fuck when Lily is asleep but only if they keep the baby monitor on by their bed.

It's possibly the weirdest thing she's ever said to him.

When Mickey pokes his head round his bedroom door, he sees that Ian is finally awake and tapping something on his phone. He hitches Lily higher up in his arms and walks in.

"Hey," Ian says in that just-woken-up voice that does things to Mickey. He holds his hands out and beams when Mickey passes Lily to him. "Hey, princess," he coos before blowing raspberries on her belly.

She squeals all high-pitched and happy and Ian sits her on his lap, talking nonsense and doing weird shit that babies like. At first, Mickey was surprised at how good Ian is with her before he remembered that he has, like, ten younger siblings and probably had to look after them a lot. Kind of goes without saying when you have parents like Ian's.

Mickey faceplants onto the bed beside them, wriggling about until he's under the covers. He nuzzles against Ian's hip. "Can't believe they left her with us," he mutters, lips grazing Ian's skin.

"Yeah, but she was up all last night so hopefully she'll go down after her lunch."

Mickey is well aware that Lily didn't sleep last night. He got home at half-two in the morning to Dylan walking around the living area trying to lull her to sleep. Two hours later and he succeeded.

He nips at Ian's hipbone. "Fuckin' hope so."

Ian holds Lily closer to him and extracts her fingers from up his nose with a grimace. "Oh yeah?" he says, "Why's that?"

Mickey looks at him for a short moment. "Man, I can't fuckin' talk to you about sex when she's got her hand in your mouth."

Chuckling, Ian maneuvers about and stands. "I'm gonna feed her and then put her down for a nap, okay?"

Too busy staring at Ian's abs to give a proper answer, Mickey hums and stretches out on Ian's warm side of the bed. "Make it quick."

...

Ian does not make it quick. Half an hour passes and Mickey is still fucking laying about in bed waiting for him to get back so they can just fucking fuck already. This dry spell is making him go a little crazy.

He eventually decides to find out what the fuck is taking Ian so long and stops dead in his tracks when he reaches his doorway. There, cuddled up on the couch asleep, is Ian and Lily.

And despite how peaceful they look, Mickey quietly walks over and scoops Lily into his arms. She stirs a little but doesn't wake, and he carefully walks into Zoe and Dylan's room and puts her into her crib. She sucks noisily on her purple pacifier and Mickey strokes a hand over her blonde hair before he takes one of the baby monitors with him and, when he's close enough, chucks it at Ian's head.

"The fuck?" he grunts, and rubs at his forehead.

"You fell asleep," Mickey says, taking a few steps closer. Ian is smiling softly, his eyebrows all screwed up and it takes all of Mickey's effort to keep up the front that he's annoyed. "I put Lily to bed, so come on."

Ian raises his eyebrows. "Come where?" he asks, smirking.

"Swear to God I'll just jack off and come all over your pillow if you don't get your ass in bed in the next thirty seconds." To make his point, Mickey begins walking towards their room and strips out of his t-shirt, throwing it to the ground, before starting on his boxers.

With that, Ian jumps to his feet and quickly follows Mickey to bed, practically tackling him.

"Y'know," Ian starts, kneeling back on his heels inbetween Mickey's legs, "we should go without more often if it gets you this riled up." He ducks down and kisses a path up Mickey's ribs; goosebumps bloom on Mickey's skin, the light hairs standing on end.

Rubbing his hands down Ian's side, Mickey catches Ian's bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. Pulling back, Mickey looks at Ian's face for a moment and he loves the way Ian's mouth gapes open after he does it, his tongue peeking out to soothe where Mickey bit.

"If you make me go this long-"

"How is it me who's made you go this long? It's not like I wanted to be at work so much and you're the one who works nights."

Mickey levels him an unimpressed look. "Shut the fuck up and fuck me or I won't blow you later."

Given the right incentive, Ian can move pretty damn fast. He leans across Mickey's body, hand searching in the bedside drawer for the lube and condoms. Mickey takes the opportunity to look his fill at Ian's body. The gentle arch of his back and the little dimples he has just above his ass. From his angle, he can't quite see it, but he blindly reaches out and traces the small birthmark below Ian's right shoulderblade and kisses his jaw, slowly working his way to Ian's mouth.

He kisses Ian's bottom lip and gives it a gentle lick, and Ian distractedly kisses back. Reveling in the way Ian moans against his lips, Mickey digs his nails into Ian's sides and bucks his hips up in search of some much-needed friction.

Desperation urges Mickey's mouth to kiss and bite the stretch of pale skin in front of him and his nails to claw the skin over Ian's ribs, leaving lines of red as they move further down.

He pushes his hands under the waistband of Ian's boxers and grabs onto his ass before tugging the material down so that Ian's dick bounces free and wets his stomach with precome.

"Mickey," Ian groans, sounding annoyed.

Mickey looks up at him and raises his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Just, wanna fuck you," he says, grinding against Mickey's dick.

Biting his lip, Mickey wraps his legs around Ian's hips and pulls him close again. "Get on with it then."

And for a whole minute, Mickey actually believes that they're going to. Then the baby monitor makes a crackling noise and soon after Lily's screams and cries are piercing the silence and killing the mood.

Ian rolls of off him and pulls up his boxers. "You can go get her seeing as I fed her before."

Mickey really just wants to get off. Seriously, has the universe decided that he's not allowed sex or something? This is bullshit. The longer Lily cries, the more irritated he gets and he knows she'll calm down some if he brings her in here with them. Sighing, he begrudgingly gets off the bed and puts his boxers back on.

In response to Ian slapping his ass, he holds up his middle finger.

The crying grows louder the closer Mickey gets and he grits his teeth. The pitch Lily's screaming reaches makes his ears hurt and he tries to soothe her with shh-ing noises, picking her up and cradling her tiny body in his arms.

Her cheeks are ruddy and wet with tears. Mickey swipes his thumb over both of them and then bops her little button nose.

Lily hiccups and blinks her eyes at Mickey. They're just as wide and dark as Zoe's.

Mickey looks back, testing how long the silence will last. "You stopped?" he asks, leaning down and getting her pacifier from the crib. He pops it back in her mouth. "Yeah, lets see how long this lasts," he says to himself, walking back out of the room, "Come on, brat, wanna watch the penguins again, huh? Nah, lets watch the sharks - they're fuckin' awesome."

"I thought Zoe said to not curse in front of her," Ian says, taking Lily from him and settling her between his crossed legs.

That is true; Zoe's been slapping him a lot lately for that exact reason. But it's not as if Lily is going to start talking any time soon, let alone cursing, so Mickey isn't going to start biting his tongue and saying 'gosh darn it' just to please Zoe. Fuck her.

"Whatever," he says as he gets his laptop set up. Much to everyone's amusement, Lily is in love with wildlife documentaries. Whether they're about the African wilderness, the polar bears of the Antarctic or fucking stick insects. Put one of them on and for the duration of it she will sit sucking away on her pacifier, eyes glued to the screen. It's both hilarious and disgustingly cute.

As soon as Mickey has an episode of Blue Planet playing on his laptop, Lily is squirming about. She's only recently learnt how to hold her own head up, so Mickey can't imagine why she thinks she can crawl into his lap. He reaches over and gets his hands under her armpits. Sits her down on his thigh and moves the laptop closer so she can get fingerprints on the screen whenever something really good happens. Mickey made the mistake of moving it out of her reach the first time her saliva-covered fingers poked at the on-screen deer - she cried for ten minutes then wouldn't watch any more of it. Like fuck him for wanting to keep his laptop clean.

Soon David Attenborough's calming voice is the only thing to be heard. Well, along with Lily's random noises that apparently mean something to her. Ian occasionally pretends to understand and talks back, like they're having a conversation.

It's dumb and stupid and it doesn't amuse Mickey at all. It doesn't.

...

Four hours later and Mickey knows more about sea life than he ever thought he would. His legs are also beginning to cramp, stomach grumbling in need of food.

"We're back!" Dylan's voice travels through the apartment and Mickey's glad to hear it. The two of them being home means he can eat the leftovers Dylan said he'd be getting and finally do something about his sexual frustration.

Dylan and Zoe are plating up BBQ ribs and hotdogs when he, Ian and Lily leave the bedroom.

Looking over, Zoe's face lights up and she rushes to them, sucking off the sauce from her fingers. "Hi, baby," she says softly, scooping Lily out of Mickey's arms. "Did you have a good day? Did your uncle Mickey drop the f-bomb?"

"Eleven times," Ian says with a smirk.

Mickey shoves at him and makes his way over to the food. "She don't even know what I'm sayin'," he says and takes a bite of the hotdog. "Mm, this is good, man."

Dylan replies. Probably. Not that Mickey's paying any attention when Ian's stretching like that, arms reaching towards the ceiling, his stomach muscles twitching. There are still slight pink marks on Ian's ribs that Mickey's nails made, and that just about does it.

Abruptly, he stands, gaining everyone's attention. "Get your food and hurry up," he says, nodding towards their room.

Raising an eyebrow, Ian says, "What?", whilst he puts a couple of ribs on his plate.

"I'd spell it out for you but I don't think Zoe'd appreciate it."

Zoe doesn't appreciate that either apparently, groaning to herself.

Mickey makes speed-up movements with his hands, and soon enough Ian is following him back into their bedroom with Dylan's catcalls not far behind.


End file.
